Thanksgiving Shrimp Sliders

In my quest to win the thanksgiving cooking contest at work this year, I tried out a new recipe with some of our favorite ingredients from this sweet Holiday. I made a few shrimp sliders topped with homemade potato chips and yam chips and served with a cranberry and cilantro sauce. 

I made the shrimp patties by putting chopped shrimps and onions, cilantro, parmesan, flour and a small tomato in the food processor and turned the mix into a shrimp paste. I fried the patties until they were golden brown on both sides. I then deep fried the slices of yam and potatoes which gave a nice crunch on the first bite. I put a nice amount of my mix of cranberry sauce, mayonnaise and cilantro and served them with toasted sweet rolls.

They were absolutely delicious and I can't wait to share them with guests at Thanksgiving.

The Gourmet Stoner Tips: Going to the restaurant

There are two kinds of stoners: Those who get the munchies right after smoking and those who lie and say they don't get the munchies (I believe that should be categorized as an eating disorder). Whether we enjoyed a toke on the top of a mountain after finishing a strenuous hike, in the comfort of our home or at a coffee shop in Amsterdam we all face a situation that leads to hours of discussion and complex tasks if not handled properly: What are we going to eat?

While cooking or buying a good healthy meal at supermarket is always an option, let's face it....Munchies doesn't really rhyme with Tofu and beets but it does rhyme with cookies and goodies....and those goodies are even better if you don't have to move a finger or wash a single dish after it's all said and eaten...so we usually opt for the other option: Going to a restaurant.

Now going to a restaurant with other people can be a daunting task in the first place, but if one of the members in the group happens to be stoned, it becomes a whole new experience. However, it does have potential to go well if the stoner has been trained properly.

There are a few rules that everyone should observe when going to a restaurant but these following rules are especially important for potheads who forget everything their mama taught them when they walk into food heaven.

1: Pick a location before you go
This might seem like an obvious one but how many times have you just gotten into your car driving to a neighborhood saying: We'll park the car and walk around and see what looks good. Here's what's going to happen: by the time you park your car everyone will already be starving....so everything will look good and nobody is going to want to walk around looking at other people eating. Pick a restaurant and go there (DO NOT stop a gas station or at a liquor store on the way there...there will be too many tempting munchies options that will kill your appetite)
Budget Tip: DO NOT pick a restaurant where you can't afford the most expensive item on the menu because chances are: that's what you're going to order when you're stoned.

2: Know what you're going to order before you get there:
There will be waiters going across the room with desserts in their hands, sizzling dishes, and cold pints of beer and you will be surrounded with delicious dishes on other customers' tables so it will become harder to make a decision once you get there.We all have smart phones and most restaurants have their menu online, and there is no excuse for spending ten minutes deciding what you're going to eat when everyone else is about to collapse because they're so hungry. While some stoners might think it's funny that you keep repeating "Everything looks sooooooo Goooooood!" every five seconds while reading the menu, others might want to grab their fork and stick it in your eye. Also: DO AVOID restaurants with pictures of their dishes...It is a stoner's worst ennemy and you will never get out of that restaurant the same person you were before you went in.

3: DO wash you hands before you eat
You grabbed a few nugs and shared drug paraphernalia with a bunch of other stoners, maybe touched a few door handles along the way, then you sat down at a table and touched a menu, and you're likely to order a burger that you're going to grab with your two hands and if the sauce is good you're going to lick every single one of your fingers in the process. So go wash your hands or you'll be wondering if you're sick because of the smelly fish or because of your smelly fingers.

4: DO NOT Stare:
There will also be a lot of other distractions in the restaurant like Televisions, hot waitresses, and amusing signs...DO NOT stare! Once you start staring you will get lost in whatever you're staring at and the group will take advantage of that by stealing fries from your plate and you will look like the creep in the restaurant.

5: DO NOT go to a "All-You-Can-Eat" Restaurant
While this may sounds like a smart plan at the time when you decide to go after you tenth bong hit, you might either regret it the morning after.....or you will regret it that same day. Either way, nothing comes out of a group of stoners going to a restaurant where the customer is allowed to eat a much as their stomach can take. Smoking somehow makes the brain think that our stomach is bigger than it actually is and when we come down form our high, we realize that it wasn't actually a black hole where food was disappearing from the surface of the earth.

6: DO Order water with your meal
Yeah, I knwo you "need" your beer and the cold pop makes your brain "tingle" but your cottonmouth is telling you one thing: You need to give it some good ol' water. Your body will thank you.,,,especially after you eat at that all-you-can-eat sushis restaurant in the middle of the desert.

7: DO NOT laugh obnoxiously
I do realize it's easier said than done and if somebody says something funny we would probably all laugh. But if the cooks in the kitchen can hear you laughing then maybe it's a little too loud. Think of your obnoxious stoner laugh as a fart: We know you can't help it but just go outside for a second if you're laughing so hard that tears are coming out of your dry eyes.

8: DO Order dessert when the Waitress asks
Let's face it, someone in the group will have a sweet tooth, and even if you don't want to indulge too much, you know you're going to grab one of those spoons when it's time for everyone to share that one slice of goodness....or you will regret not trying it. The waitress will be happy too because her tip just got bigger and everyone will come out of this experience a happy camper.

9: DO take your leftovers in a take away box
It might feel like this was the biggest meal you've ever had and there's no way you're ever going to eat anything again for at least twelve hours, but believe me: when you come back home to enjoy your digestive joint, you will be grateful for that food an hour later when all you have to do is throw it in the microwave to re-heat it. DO NOT stare at the food while you're microwaving it, the waves might damage your brain.

10: DO Leave a nice tip...if one of the members in your group didn't follow one of these rules
Whether you realize it or not, chances are that one person in your group was that annoying stoner that didn't follow these rules....and even if everybody acted in a civilized manner, you probably scared off other customers who may have enjoyed a cup of coffee or another beer...so be nice to the person who just made your life so much easier and fed you a delicious meal.

Menchie's - Culver City

You say Menchie's, I say Munchies. In the battle for the Frozen Yogurt market in Los Angeles, "Menchie's" has come out a winner for a lot of reasons.

First of all, this place is any Stoner's paradise. When other stores will offer you a free sample of your choice, Menchie's lets you pick up as many miniature sampling cups as you desire and you could technically "taste" every flavor there and fill up with frozen yogurt for free if you're not inclined to add toppings. But if you're still hungry after giving every flavor a proper try, gaze at the incredible variety of toppings they offer from fruits to peanut butter cups and grated coconut, and start making you own "Best frozen yogurt" ever (Try not to eat too many topping because I'm not sure you're really allowed to "sample" them. Even if you don't want to eat any yogurt because of your intolerance to lactose, you can still hit the toppings bar and fill your cup with some delicious treats and a variety of chocolate.

Now the sugar rush is not the only thing that's appealing to the average stoner: The pretty vivid colors in the store and the smooth colorful plastic spoons that we get to keep as a weird souvenir of our foggy trip to the ice-cream parlor all enhance this childish but rejuvenating experience.

You say Menchie's, I say: "Let's roll one so I can try to fill my cup with as many toppings as I possibly can and still manage to finish it all".

In other words: Menchie's is where we all hope we end up after we die. After meeting at the crossroads, maybe we should hit up the "Menchie's" by the heaven's gate....Duuuude!

http://www.Menchies.com

Late Night Snack Epic Fail

Yesterday a few of my friends came by for a last minute BBQ on my balcony. We had delicious beef kebabs, marinated steaks, merguez and a homemade fruit salad with a sinful chocolate cake. Despite the absence of the sun, we jumped in the hot tub, drank some beers, rolled some joints and shared some laughs. 

All the food was gone pretty fast and we ended up making a batch of crepes to finish off this extraordinary meal. Trader Joe's sells chocolate covered banana slices in the frozen section and we ended up filling the crepes with these treats and Nutella (I even drizzled a little Honey because it wasn't quite sweet enough otherwise). 

Once we finished the bowl of batter, I licked the Nutella off the fork I was using, and enjoyed a digestive joint with the last few BBQ survivors. When everyone left, the munchies came knocking. Since I had been cooking all day I decided to make myself a grilled cheese before brushing my teeth and going to bed.

I took out a slice of bread, put some sliced chicken and a slice of Swiss cheese on top, turned the oven to 375 degrees, and threw everything inside before sitting on the couch to watch an educative infomercial reminding me that my abs could look a whole lot better with just a few monthly payments. I rolled another spliff before reaching for the remote control to change the channel. I started looking at the movie channels to see what movie was going to put me to sleep that night and stopped on a random independent movie that seemed interesting. I lit up my perfectly rolled concoction and just like any other male who has satellite TV and a remote control, I started browsing again without ever stopping long enough to see what the shows are about. Channel 539, 538, 537, 536, 535.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm not sure if it was the music of the end credits from the movie playing on my TV or if it was the daylight creeping in but six hours later, I opened one eye on my couch. As I tried to open the other eye and establish the damages done the night before I smelled something fishy.... cheesy ....funny.... 

Something just wasn't right.

I stood still in the middle of my living-room, pivoting on my feet and moving my nostrils like a drug detection dog in a Colombian airport. And suddenly I woke up. I ran to the oven and opened it to try and salvage what was left of my grilled cheese... 

The only thing I have left of this snack is a picture that I will cherish forever. 

R.I.P Grilled Cheese!

Quick and Cheesy Snack

Being a gourmet stoner is often about finding an easy way to cook something tasty in the minimal amount of time. But is is also about cooking with whatever is left in my fridge since I was going to go shopping.....but then I got high.

Last night I was doing a few things in the apartment and I got a little hungry when my eyes stopped on the bad of olive bread sitting by the stove.

Since I had some Monterey jack cheese and some parmesan in the fridge I decided to grill some cheese on it. I turned the oven n, spread some pesto on the slices of bread, put the sclices of cheese on top, covered it with back pepper and parmesan and baked it in the oven for about ten minutes.

It was a great snack and I think it would be an amazing treat to have with a soup or as finger food during a party.

Chocolate Crepes

Last night I had the worst craving for some chocolate but the closest thing that resembled chocolate in my house was a bottle of Hershey's Syrup. I am not a big fan of that syrup but going to buy something else was a little out of the question since my car was out of battery and I couldn't walk anywhere so I decided to make the best out of a bad situation by making crepes.

So I pulled out of a bowl, took 4 eggs out of the fridge, mixed them with 1 cup of milk and one cup of flour, a teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon of sugar, and since there was no way I was going to wait an hour before making my first crepe I added a little bit of beer in the mix so the dough would settle faster.

I heated up the pan (I used a regular pan but you can buy a cheap crepe maker online)
 and greased it with butter and when it was warm enough the nigh turned into a crepes party...and of course I ended up eating too many of them

Tornado Potato at the "High Times" Medical Cannabis Cup

I was at the Medical Cannabis Cup sponsored by "High Times" yesterday and had a fun time there. After getting our wristbands to access the "Medication Area" (Don't worry, if you don't have a prescription there's a doctor ready to help you out right in front of the security checkpoint) we got a giant hit of cannabis wax in our lungs and headed towards the food trucks. Having a food truck at a gathering of hundreds of stoners must be good for business and I'm sure that people had to fight for these golden spots. We tried to look for the smallest line before deciding to get in line for some "Tornado Potato". This food truck is genius in its own ways, it found a way to make potatao look even cooler than curly fries. They peel a whole potato in a way that it wraps around a stick and they fry it. There's not much to eat on there but it is visually enticing and the perfect munchies food. We chose the 'Tornado" that came with a sausage on the stick...so it was basically a hot dog wrapped with potato chips....and some Parmesan/garlic powder. It was surprisingly good but I would highly recommend trying one with the sausage if you end up at this truck because the regular Tornado seems like it would leave you wanting more.

My new favorite Chocolate

Opening the mailbox isn't what it used to be.A decade ago we were still eager to open it in the hope of finding a letter from a lover or a Christmas bonus from the grandparents. It was always an exciting experience, filled with colorful stamps, scented paper and creative writing. It often came as a surprise and was a thoughtful gesture. Now, I have to dig through the massive amounts of coupons and advertising to get a hold of the bills that are overdue because....I never open my mail. We get e-cards, texts and emails for Christmas where dozens of other friends can be attached in the same message at the same time. Last week though, I received a package from my awesome friend in Switzerland who mailed me back the sunglasses I had left at her place. Since it was Christmas time, she even sent me some chocolate covered marshmallows two tablets of some of the most amazing chocolate I had ever had. The chocolate was filled with chocolate mousse inside and it had pieces of Hazelnut. It was like a fancy schoko-bon!...I did however sit on my favorite pair of sunglasses and broke them...but the chocolate made me forget all about it.

Pocky Time

After cleaning my apartment and celebrating this endeavor with a perfectly rolled spliff. I decided to open the second box of Pocky sticks that my friend from work gave me. The regular pocky sticks are good but these ones had a thicker layer of chocolate and the dark chocolate swirl around it gives it a nice texture. It's still crunchy but with more chocolate with every bite. I think I have to go stock up on these.

A yummy breakfast after a "wake and bake"

I enjoy smoking herbs and I enjoying eating. I also happen to enjoy cooking when I'm stoned enough to want a delicious meal but not too stoned that I can't get my ass off the couch. I also love taking pictures of food. Not just the food I cook of course, but I do enjoy capturing images of my meals that will help me remember the cuIinary experiences I've had while I was stoned. Whether it is a delicious home cooked meal by my sister when she stays at my apartment, whether it's a hole-in-the-wall pizza place or some unforgettable take-out, or even a fancy restaurant where the waiters smile at the sight of our bloodshot eyes, tasty food is always a stoner's best friend.

I had talked about creating a blog for stoners who enjoy delicious food when they smoke instead of some cheap double cheese burgers from the fast-food restaurant closest to their place. And instead of taking the talk, I thought I'd just walk the walk.

Today I woke up and decided to cook breakfast. I don't usually get to have breakfast when I roll out of bed to get o work on weekdays. I celebrated the beginning on my three day weekend with a hot coffee and a joint and then I sat down in front of the computer. After a few minutes editing pictures from my last trip, I started noticing a growing need for some good food. I gathered all the ingredients for a tasty breakfast sandwich and got to work.

I did not take a picture of the first egg I broke that turned out to be all red inside. It was almost disgusting enough to kill my appetite. But I learned to overcome many instances in the past where my appetite should have been gone after witnessing things I should not have witnessed.

A slice of colby cheese on a toast in the oven, a cheese omelet with some cilantro, and some bacon on top. It could have been delicious if I hadn't burned the toast but I guess that's what happens when stoners cook: They forget things in the oven.

Note: The salad was just for the picture but I did eat it.