"Versailles" - Culver City

Famoso Pollo Versailles - Versailles Famous Garlic Chicken

House specialty

juicy roasted half chicken marinated in our delicious garlic sauce garnished with sliced onions.

This Cuban restaurant has one of the most confusing name for a hungry stoner.  The first time I had diner there was for one of my birthdays with a friend from USC a few years ago, and when he told me to meet him at this place I thought I was going to a French restaurant and was quite surprised when I arrived there. However I was pleased with my first Cuban experience and have gone back there many times since then.

They have a very diverse menu with everything from marinated pork to Mahi-Mahi and the portions are so big you should really share it with a friend the first time you try it even if you have the munchies. 

So after smoking the early evening joint that celebrates the coming of another giant dinner, we called in our order of "Famoso Pollo" and after what seemed to be an eternity we managed to pick Moro as our side dish (It's the rice and beans cooked together with some spices). On the way back we stopped at the liquor store to buy some beer and a Mega Milllions ticket and started getting anxious as the smell of the chicken got to our nostrils.

Once we got back home, we jumped on the box and devoured its content. This chicken was delicious, and if you take it to-go make sure you dip your meat in the lemon and garlic sauce that will be at the bottom of your non-recyclable Styrofoam box. 

http://www.versaillescuban.com/

"Brick + Mortar" - Santa Monica

After last night's meat-and-beer orgy, we woke up somewhat early, brewed coffee, drank it, brewed some more, drank it, and rolled a giant morning after joint (the joint that is supposed to help you feel better during your hangover). Since the award winning movie "Boat Trip" was on the telly, we decided to watch it and laugh at the unfortunate series of events that led Cuba Gooding Jr to play in this movie and his character to end up on a gay cruise. After a few laughs and a few more cups of coffee, I finally headed to Santa Monica were a friend was celebrating her Birthday at the "Brick and Mortar" on main street. She decided to celebrate there since on sunday they offer a bottomless Mimosa from 11am to 3pm for 15$....and when I responded to the invitation, bottomless anything alcoholic sounded like a good idea.

It was my first time going there and after spending a few minutes going around the block to find parking I finally arrived at the restaurant where everyone was holding their precious glass of mimosa. My stomach was still hurting and the mere thought of having more champagne with orange juice was making me cringe. But there was a good surprise when I got there, they were also having a "bloody Mary Ultimate Bar" where you create your own bloody Mary with all kinds of delicious toppings such as shrimps, olives, asparagus, roasted vegetables, lemon, spices, various seasonings, and dozens of bottles of hot sauce. Since I would like to believe the urban legend that the bloody Mary is a great hangover cure, I went for it and ordered a large glass....Well, I ordered a glass and it just happened to be large.

When the bartender handed me the glass he told me to try the deviled eggs that he had made himself that morning, and you usually don't have to beg me to try food. I started gazing at the choices for my first customized bloody Mary. I started digging in and picked up a few olives and put some salt and pepper, a little bit of seasoning, some fresh garlic, some steak sauce and then I grabbed a bottle of hot sauce because I love my bloody Mary to be spicy. I opened the cap and poured what seemed to be a reasonable amount in my giant glass. Happy with what seemed to be a good looking drink, I headed out to the patio to meet up with everybody. As I made my way out, I stirred the drink and tried a sip of my delicious concoction. I first tasted the delicious tomato juice that seemed to be partly freshly made, but I soon forgot about that when the spicy hot sauce hit the back of my throat and the first drops of sweat appeared on my forehead. I had made one big mistake.

I looked for my friends while pretending to enjoy what seemed to be a challenge in "Man Vs. Food" but I had a hard time finding them and I wasn't quite ready to take on that challenge. After visiting the restaurant and realizing everyone was outside smoking (Yes, most of them were French), I introduced myself to a few people out on the patio while wiping my sweaty forehead. 

I don't know if it was during the seventh or eighth sip that I realized that there was no way I was going to enjoy that drink or for that matter be able to even drink it, but I decided to go back to the bar and apologize for my lack of good judgment and they kindly gave me a new glass of vodka and tomato juice after I promised not to open any hot sauce again. I picked all of the same ingredients again and ran away from the long line of hot sauce bottles and had a great time afterwards. The staff was amazingly kind and the bottomless glasses of mimosa were never empty. I can't wait to go again and try their enticing menu.

http://brickandmortarla.com/

@BrickMortarLA

Late Night Snack Epic Fail

Yesterday a few of my friends came by for a last minute BBQ on my balcony. We had delicious beef kebabs, marinated steaks, merguez and a homemade fruit salad with a sinful chocolate cake. Despite the absence of the sun, we jumped in the hot tub, drank some beers, rolled some joints and shared some laughs. 

All the food was gone pretty fast and we ended up making a batch of crepes to finish off this extraordinary meal. Trader Joe's sells chocolate covered banana slices in the frozen section and we ended up filling the crepes with these treats and Nutella (I even drizzled a little Honey because it wasn't quite sweet enough otherwise). 

Once we finished the bowl of batter, I licked the Nutella off the fork I was using, and enjoyed a digestive joint with the last few BBQ survivors. When everyone left, the munchies came knocking. Since I had been cooking all day I decided to make myself a grilled cheese before brushing my teeth and going to bed.

I took out a slice of bread, put some sliced chicken and a slice of Swiss cheese on top, turned the oven to 375 degrees, and threw everything inside before sitting on the couch to watch an educative infomercial reminding me that my abs could look a whole lot better with just a few monthly payments. I rolled another spliff before reaching for the remote control to change the channel. I started looking at the movie channels to see what movie was going to put me to sleep that night and stopped on a random independent movie that seemed interesting. I lit up my perfectly rolled concoction and just like any other male who has satellite TV and a remote control, I started browsing again without ever stopping long enough to see what the shows are about. Channel 539, 538, 537, 536, 535.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm not sure if it was the music of the end credits from the movie playing on my TV or if it was the daylight creeping in but six hours later, I opened one eye on my couch. As I tried to open the other eye and establish the damages done the night before I smelled something fishy.... cheesy ....funny.... 

Something just wasn't right.

I stood still in the middle of my living-room, pivoting on my feet and moving my nostrils like a drug detection dog in a Colombian airport. And suddenly I woke up. I ran to the oven and opened it to try and salvage what was left of my grilled cheese... 

The only thing I have left of this snack is a picture that I will cherish forever. 

R.I.P Grilled Cheese!

"Bay Cities" Deli - Santa Monica

If I were a rich stoner I would buy most of my groceries at this deli in Santa Monica where you can buy all kinds of products from Europe. There is amazing meat, fresh pasta, a large selection of wine, and all kinds of sweet and savory treats. The deli section has a selection of warm food and the sandwiches are so good I'm drooling just writing about it. There is usually a long line during lunch hours but they do prepare a few of their signature sandwiches in advance that you can just pick up from the counter if you need to be out of there fast. And if you decide to wait for your customized sandwich, you can grab a fresh loaf of bread to munch on while you wait. They have a delicious roasted tomatoes bread that you might accidentally finish before your sandwich is ready. No matter what, order the large one. Chances are you're going to be hungry after you smoke your digestive joint.

The most famous sandwich is the Godmother (Genoa Salami, Mortadella Coppacola, Ham, Proscituuo, Provolone). It's Delicious but after trying many combinations over the years I have found the perfect sandwich: It's the Caprese with Prosciutto. Every ingredient from the bread to the basil tastes fresh and the colors make you salivate as you unwrap the olive oil soaked sandwich. As the ingredients mix in your mouth, the combination of the melting prosciutto, the soft mozzarella and the crunchy bread becomes a pleasantly intense sensory experience. When I was done, I finished my meal with the Kinder that I bought at the cashier and drank my Orangina. It felt like I had just gone on a day trip to Europe.

http://www.baycitiesitaliandeli.com

Warning: Don't try to go on a Monday though, I have made that mistake many times!.... They are closed that day.

"More" The buffet at Luxor, Las Vegas

When you win money, Las Vegas has plenty of amazing fine dining but when you lost all your gambling fund you end up at a buffet to make sure you fill up on one meal for the entire day. We were close to the Luxor and since I received a 5$ coupon for losing all my money at their poker table we decided to give it a try. 

For the most part it was a surprisingly decent buffet filled with hungover college students, obese couples and excited tourists. It's a stoner's paradise except...I wasn't stoned since we flew to Las Vegas this time.

I still filled up on a couple of slices of pizzas, spaghetti, orange chicken, fish, meatballs and a little bit of salad. At the end of the meal I couldn't resist trying all the desert that looked so tasty. But just like a lot of other things in Vegas, it just looked the part but most of the deserts were deceiving.

I picked up what had been falsely advertised as a chocolate mousse, a pistachio creme brulée, a panna cotta, a flan and a tiramisu. The chocolate mousse and the tiramisu tasted almost the same: like a buttery cream with different coloring (I wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case). I had to spit out the panna cotta but that's only because on top of being bad it was also flavored with lemon and I wasn't ready for that. The pistachio creme brulée was decent if you like pistachios but don't expect a creme brulée. The only thing they hadn't completely ruined for me that day was the flan which ended up what I chose to have with my digestive coffee. Then we headed out and grabbed one last beer before saying goodbye to Vegas.

Quick and Cheesy Snack

Being a gourmet stoner is often about finding an easy way to cook something tasty in the minimal amount of time. But is is also about cooking with whatever is left in my fridge since I was going to go shopping.....but then I got high.

Last night I was doing a few things in the apartment and I got a little hungry when my eyes stopped on the bad of olive bread sitting by the stove.

Since I had some Monterey jack cheese and some parmesan in the fridge I decided to grill some cheese on it. I turned the oven n, spread some pesto on the slices of bread, put the sclices of cheese on top, covered it with back pepper and parmesan and baked it in the oven for about ten minutes.

It was a great snack and I think it would be an amazing treat to have with a soup or as finger food during a party.

"Blue Dog Beer Tavern", Sherman Oaks

One sunny morning I woke up feeling a little sick after a night of munching on chocolate, cookies and cheese. I rolled the morning joint that was going to help my stomach feel a little better and then I received a text from one of my good friends who wanted to meet for lunch and since I hadn't seen her in a while I rolled another one and headed north to the forbidden valley.

We met at the "Blue Dog Tavern", a little restaurant right off the freeway at the intersection of the 405 and the 101. It has a nice outdoor patio with a beautiful view on the 405 and a gas station. It was a very warm day and I started getting dehydrated when I arrived so I ordered my beer before looking at the menu. After evaluating my options, glancing at the tables in the dining room and considering my sick yet starving stomach, I opted for a bacon cheeseburger with fries.

We sat outside in the burning heat of the valley and we started drinking.  The food came fast, \the burger was perfectly cooked and I had a hard time finishing my meal but I did....and I also finished my friend's salad.

After we left the restaurant we went for ice-cream in the nearby mall and I had a giant chocolate waffle cone filled with goodness. Needless to say I had to smoke another one to help my stomach recover from this indulging meal.

http://www.bluedogbeertavern.com/